Personal Reflections

Sorry

Sorry I've been MIA for the past couple of weeks. This is partly because I've been lazy, and partly because I've been unsure about my blogging. I know I started this blog to document everything, bad and good, in my experience in France. For the most part, I have been completely honest, and have left little of my life out.

However, lately, I've been questioning what exactly I feel comfortable sharing with the world. Writing a public blog, means that everything you post, is available to anyone and everyone. I've always been okay with this fact, and have willingly shared my life with all of you. I finally decided to write a new blog, because I want people to know that even though my pictures often appear like it's a constant party here, it definitely is not.

In the past couple weeks, I have been struggling in France. Not struggling in a negative way in the sense I want to run home and give up, but in a sense that I am constantly reminded that I am still young, learning, and growing. While my french language skills have definitely improved, I'm not sure if my life dealing skills have improved as drastically. I still struggle with cultural differences every day.

School

I actually missed class this morning in protest. I am having a hard time in my French Lit class. We are supposed to be discussing poetry by Apollinaire, meanwhile we have been listening to our professor's rants about heterosexual relationships and the psychology of women. Yesterday, he discussed the female orgasm and a woman's desire to have children for the entire class. I feel not only is he not qualified to discuss these topics, but also they don't coincide with our material at all.

Every time I complain to my classmates and my french friends about it, they say that this style of teaching is normal. It is frustrating for me because I spend a lot of money to go to a UC, where I get an exceptional education. I pay that exact amount to be here in France, plus more. I feel like I'm being robbed. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a different country with a completely different educational system.

My professor's lecture yesterday just threw me over the top and I reacted quite poorly by not attending class this morning. It doesn't hurt him if I don't show up. I am the one paying. All I can do is try my best in class here, and appreciate my UC when I return in the fall.

Life - In General

There are some days where I love living in France, actually it's most days. Sometimes, though, I feel so homesick. I miss the ease of living in a culture that I fit right into. At home, there are never any instances of miscommunication. Life is easy. I miss that sometimes. I miss how it's so easy to understand american boys. (Yes, I am 22 and boys my age really aren't that complicated, no matter what the culture, but...) When it comes to French guys and relationships, pretty much all the rules are out the window. So that has definitely been another struggle in my life.

Today, however, I woke up and felt so at ease. Okay, so I am still a lost Californian girl in France, nothing has changed there, but I think so far things have been quite successful. I have friends, an awesome French family, I am doing well in school, and my communication skills are improving little by little. Plus, I feel like with each obstacle that I am faced with, I learn a little more and more about myself, and just how strong I am capable of being.

Dinner at Marina's

Tacos

Yes you heard right: tacos. It was such a treat! Marina shredding the chicken herself and smuggled some taco seasoning on her flight back. Lauren made a bean salad and brought beer. Needless to say, it was all amazing.

The British girls had their first tacos ever with us. I even made some quesadillas, which were also new to them.

For dessert I served coconut flan. We were filled to the brim. Recipe here.

The night was a success. 

Package From Home

Mummy and Gma sent me some goodies last week. I love packages from home. It's easy to get homesick being so far away. Little things from home make me feel like I'm not so far removed.

In my package was Hawaiian Pancake mix. I made it for breakfast and served it with the coconut syrup which was also in my box. Oh la la, while my French family enjoyed it, I was reminiscing about the beautiful hawaiian islands and spending time in the states with my family over breakfast. Food, it always seems to me, is something that always brings people together.

For me, food has been something that reminds me of home. Hence all the cooking I've been up to lately. However, my creations don't come close to the real thing. 

Guess I'll just have to wait a little longer.

Bearing the Cold

School

It has been extra hard getting up these mornings due to the unbearable cold. I force myself out of my warm cocoon to face the freezing mornings. Getting to class is actually nice after my cold little commute.

As for my classes, they are going quite well. I am taking two courses that are a continuation of last semester's Linguistics and 19th Century French Lit. Then I am taking two courses at the foreigner center which consist of French Economics and 18th Century French Art. So far, I find the economics course quite interesting. Linguistics is as hard as ever, but if I put in extra effort, I'm sure it'll all work out.

I only have class Tuesday - Thursday. It is a college student's dream.

Thus - Thursday Night 

It has been a challenge maneuvering the streets of Bordeaux. All the snow has solidified creating some dangerous black ice. Running late in the morning for class has been specifically hard. My usual run has turned into somewhat of a quick waddle. It's really attractive.

So, Thursday night in the dimly lit street I had to be extra cautious to avoid the ice.

When I finally arrived at the Cock n Bull, an english bar I had never visited before, the welcoming warm air burned my ice cold face. However, with a 4 euro cocktail student night, we all warmed up real quick.

Tonight: Tacos at Marina's :) Happy Weekend everyone!

Snowing in Bordeaux

I woke up this morning to Ynel's (my little host brother) screaming. Okay, maybe not screaming, but talking a wired, giddy voice. I checked my watch and it was 9 a.m. I lay in bed wondering what possessed a 12-year-old to wake up so early on a Sunday with such energy. I finally rolled out of bed and opened my shutters. I stood in shock at the sight. Our garden was completely covered in snow.

Joana and Ynel convinced me to head over to see the Jardin Public. I threw on some clothes and my warm coat and opened the front door. I don't know what I was expecting to see, but obviously I am not accustomed to snow because I was surprised, yet again, at the sight of our street in a blanket of snow.

I was selective about photos since my fingers had limited functioning time in the cold. I snapped some shots of my walk to the Jardin. The Palais Gallien was absolutely astonishing.

I turned the corner into the Jardin Public which was filled with laughter, kids running around, dogs pouncing in the snow piles, grown adults throwing snow balls. I honestly never knew French people had this kind of fun in them. I joke -- kinda.

On my walk home I was wondering what humans find so magical about snow. But actually, it is one element that we just cannot duplicate quite like nature. We are masters of fire, experts at extracting and filtering water, we turn rocks into sparkling jewelry, and we can even purify air, however when it comes to snow, we are absolutely baffled. 

Even our greatest attempt at duplicating nature is futile. We take so much electricity and insulation to create a small arctic-like space. In this freezer, we are capable of making small, uniform chunks of ice. I think snow shows us that nature is so much bigger and better than us. 

Happy February :)

Check out more pics here

Freeezing February

HOLY... COW!

I have never experienced a winter like this in my life. All the Bordelais have been telling me we are so lucky to have such a late winter. However, I don't feel lucky at all. It's that kind of cold that no matter how much you bundle up, the cold will get in, chill your bones, and make you think you're going to die of hypothermia. Okay, maybe that last part is just me and my hypochondria.

Here's the current weather conditions at nearly 1 p.m.:

Regardless, this Californian is freezing her ass off. My long down-filled coat, scarf, gloves, furry hat, boots and thick socks are not cutting it. It snowed in most parts of France this morning. Luckily, my morning class was cancelled so I am curled up in my fuzzy robed and slippers enjoying the warmth of my cozy room.

Off to catch up on some studying then I'll have to bear this weather for an evening class. If you don't hear from me, just know it was a cold, but quick death. Just kidding, but seriously if I come back to California missing some fingers or the tip of my nose, you'll know what happened.