Crazy Guillaume

Let me preface this story with a little background of French relationships in the eyes of a Californian...

French relationships move fast. There really isn't a dating period. It's friends or.. dating. "I love you" that is the slut phrase of France. It has been with everyone and anyone. It doesn't take it's time, it is just passed around like, well, a slut.

For me these crazy fast dating stipulations have been the hardest things to understand. At first it was kind of cute, but then after some time, I realized I will never understand French relationships. They are weird. Call me too American, I don't care. This is me. Take it or leave it. Je m'en fou.

So on with the latest and craziest escapade

I met this guy about a month ago. We will call him Guillaume. Ok ok, I know this name is overly French, but I thought it fit perfectly to give you the true nature of his French roots.

So anyways, Guillaume and I hung out a couple times after we met. I told him I just wanted to be friends and I am leaving to California soon. He said he understood, but he didn't. He pushed the relationship further. But of course, it takes two to tango, so I gave in. Mistake #1. We were casually seeing each other. Due to past incidents with French guys, I clearly explained (several times I might add) that I did not want a relationship and that he was not my boyfriend, etc. etc.

We went out a few times with friends and he got extremely jealous when I even talked to people of the opposite sex. I should have cut it off right then and there. Which brings us to mistake #2. I told him he couldn't act like that and he apologized. 

Then, I had a horrible day. There were problems back home and I felt guilty for being thousands of miles away and useless. Meanwhile, my friends were going out for drinks at this bar that I really, really don't like. The atmosphere, the people, it's just not for me. However, it was a couple of my dear friends' last night out on the town, and I felt obligated. I had already invited Guillaume and I told him why I didn't want to go out. He said he understood but I should come out for just a drink and then we could leave. Doesn't sounds so bad, right?

Wrong. He brought a girlfriend (which would have been fine if they really were just friends) who he flirted with all night. I'm not talking mild, innocent flirting. I am talking about holding hands, playing footsie (btw who plays footsie at this age?? -- mistake #3), he played with her hair, and they stole each other's phones. I was laughing inside at his utter lack of comprehension of the female brain. Did he honestly think I was going to be jealous and demand that we be exclusive? So much for my bad day.. it more turned into a nightmare evening. 

So, he and his girlfriend left to a party, leaving me at this not-so-amazing pub. It was really a superb night, to say the least. 

But wait, there's more!

When I ignored his phone calls and texts he messaged me saying I need to break up with him face to face and we need to talk about what happened, and of course he was so so sorry. I was like.....

When I ignored Guillaume's texts he got even crazier. He insisted on coming to my friend's birthday party, when they obviously only knew each other through me. When I told him he I was uninviting him, he threw yet another skype/text/facebook bitch fit claiming he wasn't going for me, but to support my friend. Basically, I found a winner, man (mistake #500 in the book of The Ridiculous Mistakes of Sara : A Compilation. Volume 2).

Now..

Now I am walking around the city on eggshells hoping not to run into Guillaume - now properly nicknamed "crazy guy."

To be continued...